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Unknown...Despair...A lost.
Search 3 | Acceptance
She stared at her paper.
"You're all acting like you got A1s and A2s. I'll tell you...
She didn't need to be told anything. She never did.
She always knew what she would do.
And what she'd done.
No move was ever regretted and no move would ever be.
Well; if this was all she got, it's the best she could get.
It came back to her, the frustration, the anger...
The helplessness of it all.
Whatever she did would never help.
A futile existance. That's what it was.
Study to the road of success.
A load of shit.
It was all a load of shit.
Really, who do they expect to believe this?
Natural ability without schooling has always brought anything more than schooling without natural ability has.
"Study!"
And you'll pass?
Shit. Again.
Taking effort to read outside topics to answer 5% of the topics?
More shit.
So many subjects, so many things, so much homework, how could anyone have any time to go and read a whole fucking encyclopedia?
She didn't know if it was worth it.
And they kept talking.
As if it was unexpected that she would have such a score.
As if they knew she was stupid.
Maybe they did.
Maybe they didn't.
"Would you stop making so much noise?!"
.slam.
It didn't work.
All the studying didn't work.
Even her parents had given up.
They left her alone.
Au contraire, Mr Teacher.
She never made noise.
And now she was here, just staring.
Staring.
Like how she stared at the door.
Her vision was clear now, and so was her mind.
Her mouth was shut and her eyes closed in thought.
And rage.
But it was all in her mind.
Because she was always in control.
And her tears did not come.
Because she was always in control.
In her mind, she was weak.
And to others, she was not.
Perhaps it was because she always kept to herself.
And it ate her away.
Inside her mind.
She wrapped her arms around her shoulders and lowered her head.
It was cold.
And she had no cover.
And like inside, her outside started to crack.
Her lips broke apart, and the blood coursed through the rifts to form a crimsome dead tree.
They branched out, and began to run slowly down.
And she felt it. Numbly. Inside.
From her...sanity?
Or was it lost a long time before?
"Are you okay?" A hand was placed on her shoulder.
"Never better." She murmured, and twisted herself away from the unwelcome warmth.
And she was left alone again.
Mr Teacher came in again.
And talked.
And scolded.
But it never entered her brain. She didn't hear a single thing.
She just stared at him with blank eyes.
As if she didn't understand what he said. But she did.
She wouldn't have to soon, anyway.
The bell rang.
It continued in her head, like the exact time of execution.
And people would gather around to see the blade fall in the gullotine.
Or maybe just like Alice in Wonderland. Off with her head.
It was the 6th storey. She picked up her bag, gave a few cursory goodbyes and climbed up to the 7th storey.
There was no one there. It was an engine level. The machines hummed all around her.
The wind blew, carrying soft whispers of condolences. She closed her eyes.
And listened to the wind.
.wishes for a better life.
"A better life?
...yes...thank you."
And with the wind, she stepped off the ledge.
No desperate flailing of arms, no last minutes regrets, no screams.
A peaceful frame of mind, closed eyes and a smile.
Just like how anyone would like to go.
There was no sound, not one as the bones shattered against the ground.
She felt the flash of pain.
She felt her skull splintering, bolts of pain buried in her head.
But she was calm.
And more in control than ever.
And she finally felt the warmth she'd longed for spread and drip down.
The warmth...was comforting.
"Oh my god."
.scrape.
"The blood, gosh."
"Doesn't it hurt? She's smiling..."
"She's crazy."
"...I think she's dead."
.drip.
...off with her head.
end
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